Missing You
by yellowsocks
Summary: Leyton, 2yrs after 5x09. You could tell how the thoughts of him still haunted her, even though he had long since moved away to start a new life with Lindsey, his wife and editor. Their new life. One that had nothing to do with her. COMPLETE
1. Heartache Overload

**A/N: NEW STORY:) And it's not even a oneshot!**

**Okay, after next Tuesday (the first one in March '08, when 5x10 premieres) this story will be AU, I guess. Because it takes place two years after 5x09 (the episode where the girls get locked in the library) and none of what happens after 5x09, happens in the story. I think anything else you need to know will be explained in the story, but you have any questions, leave me a review, and I'd be glad to reply.**

**Anyways, here goes nothing!**

**Disclaimer: All One Tree Hill related stuff belongs to Mark and the CW. I own only the ideas. Oh, and the chapter title comes from the song Missing You by Tyler Hilton, which is also what the story is named after:)**

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**Chapter 1: **Heartache Overload

There was nothing but a long line of road ahead of her as she drove down the practically empty highway. She ran her fingers through her long blonde curls. It had been a while since she'd cut them, so they had grown quite long, and often became horribly tangled and messy. But there hadn't been a reason to cut them. She hid in her house, or in her office at Tric, day in and day out. She avoided contact with people, because it was easier this way.

There were two reasons Peyton was in her car, driving down the highway out of Tree Hill, in the early hours of the morning.

Firstly, Peyton was still in love with Lucas Scott. No matter how many times she denied it, it was the awful and pathetic truth. Peyton Sawyer would always be head over heels, undeniably, in love with Lucas Eugene Scott. There was simply no way around it anymore.

And it showed. Goodness, you could tell how the thoughts of him still haunted her, even though he had long since moved away to start a new life with Lindsey Strauss, his wife and editor extraordinaire. Their new life. One that had nothing to do with her.

The second reason, was that Brooke had called her, saying that she needed to get up here immediately. Brooke had gone up to visit Lucas and Lindsey about a week ago, and Peyton hadn't heard from her until now. And that was perfectly fine with Peyton, because hearing about how much Lucas and Lindsey loved each other, and how happy they were together, was the last thing Peyton wanted.

It had been 2 long years since they had gotten married, and not a single one of them for Peyton, had been spent doing anything other than wishing she had never gone to Los Angeles after high school, and that she had simply held onto Lucas for dear life.

Her love for Lucas, and the phone call from Brooke, her best friend, were the sole reasons she was driving on this highway right now.

It had nothing to do with Lindsey. Because the only reason she would be going up to see Lindsey would be to stab the woman, who stole her man, in her sleep. Sure, Lindsey was terribly nice, and if it weren't for the fact she was Lucas' wife, Peyton would have probably been friends with her. Right now, stabbing her seemed much more of an appealing idea. But that was not the point of this visit. Actually, looking back, Peyton realized she wasn't entirely sure why she was needed. Brooke hadn't mentioned anything really when she had called that evening.

_The phone rang loudly, sounding through her vacant apartment. She was lying on her back, in the middle of her bed, staring at the ceiling._

_Groaning, she rolled over, picking it up and dragging into her ear._

_"Hello?" She muttered, rolling back over, the phone cord twisting around behind her._

_"Peyton. You need to get up here, right now. It's important." _

_"But Brooke, wh-" Peyton had begun, but she was almost immediately cut off by her best friend._

_"No time for explanations. But if you don't, things are going to change forever."_

_And the line was dead._

Maybe change wasn't such a bad thing. Right now, life was looking pretty dim, and the future for Peyton had still yet to be written. She had spent so long hiding from the world, that she was no longer sure where she was headed. Music was still a huge part of her life, but how could she help someone get their dreams, when she had long since lost all of hers.

She saw the lights of the city up ahead, telling her she was almost there, but having no idea what waited up ahead for her. She sat forward, gripping the steering wheel tighter until her knuckles were practically bright white. She did that when she was nervous. Bad habit, basically. She bit her lip as she passed the sign, welcoming her to town, and by then it was all she could do not to make a U-turn right then, and go home.

Was she honestly ready to face Lucas again, after all these years? Or was it all too much at once for her to take in. She glanced at the piece of paper sitting on the passenger seat, following the directions she had scribbled down. She had never been to visit Lucas and Lindsey, so she honestly had no clue where they lived. But Brooke had given her the address and phone number before leaving in case of emergencies, so it was just a matter of finding online directions.

But as she pulled up in front of the house, every light seeming to be lit inside, she immediately regretted even considering the trip.

The house was so, perfect. White picket fence, with a garden kind of thing. It was almost too perfect. The roof, not a shingle out of place, the perfectly trimmed green lawn. There was no way the Lucas Scott she had once known, lived in this house.

But it wasn't any of this that caught her attention first. Her eye had been drawn to the front window; the thin, practically see through curtains closed. But there was no denying the shadow that was projected from them. Someone was sitting right inside, and Peyton immediately knew who it was. Her hands shook nervously at the sight of him, even if it was only his shadow. She opened her car door, and stepped outside slowly, afraid she was making a terrible mistake.

The car door slammed, and Peyton began her walk up the driveway. And if she hadn't known any better, she would have told you that the driveway must have been at least a mile long. Because it seemed to take hours to get from one end to the other. But once she was there, standing on **his** front door step, she could barely even remember the walk up. It was like her head filled with thoughts of how he was going to react, if he even knew she was coming, if Brooke had mentioned any of it at all.

Before she could make herself fight against it, she reached up and rang the doorbell. She heard someone get up, and make their way to the door, and she watched as the handle slowly began to turn...

"Peyton." Her best friend whispered as she walked out the door, engulfing the curly haired girl in a hug, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Brooke." Peyton smiled, tears filling her eyes. She wasn't entirely sure why she was crying, but it was just one of those moments where it seemed appropriate. Brooke pulled away, and wiped the tears off her friend's face.

"Thanks for coming, P."

"Anything for you, B. Davis. But what's going on anyways?" Peyton asked nervously, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

Brooke frowned, "Come in."

Peyton stepped inside, off the step and into the front hall of the house.

And it was as if from that moment on, the last two years of missing Lucas were over, but in a strange way, she almost wished she had stayed away. She would rather still be missing Lucas then be here right now.

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	2. Like A Telegraph, To Your Soul

**A/N: First things first, I want to thank EVERYONE, even those who simply read because this story, even after only one chapter is my most story alerted (30 people have put this on their story alert), the most reviews for any single chapter I've written (18 reviews for the first chapter), and has already been favourited 8 times. So thank you to everyone. **

**Secondly, I found it somewhat funny that people dislike Lindsey just as much as I do, because not one but MULTIPLE people, thought I was going to kill off Lindsey. I honestly haven't much of a clue where I'm taking this, so who knows, maybe it'll still happen ;)**

**Okay, so I'm done talking now. I think. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or the song, Missing You by Tyler Hilton from which the chapter gets its name. **

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**Chapter 2: **Like A Telegraph, To Your Soul

She saw him. It was hard to not see him, with him sitting right in her line of vision. His blue eyes were missing their usual spark she noticed, and they just seemed dull and empty. Instead of an ocean, with big crashing waves, they had become a flat lake on a hot, windless day. Peyton missed his old eyes. Thinking back she realized that they had been missing since that last time they had kissed in her office at Tric, but she tried not to think about that, for Lindsey's sake. But Peyton could read Lucas better than anyone else, and even she could tell that Lindsey wasn't good enough for Lucas.

She wouldn't dare tell him that though, because she knew how much she had resented Lucas when he had said that to her. Even though it had less to do with him saying that, and the fact that he had the audacity to say it when he knew he was with Lindsey, and that the comment only reminded Peyton that he, Lucas Scott was the only one who would ever be good enough for her. He knew it, she knew it. Apparently everyone did. Even Lindsey.

And that's what made Lindsey so insecure. She was afraid that Lucas would just leave her, and go running back to his precious Peyton. But honestly, Peyton could tell by simply looking at him, that the Lucas before her eyes was in no condition to be running anywhere, not even for her.

He didn't even stir, didn't move an inch, although Peyton could tell he knew she was there. Just like she could feel his presence, she knew he could feel hers too. But his dead blue eyes sure put on a good act. It was like he no longer cared. But to Peyton, Lucas was an open book, just waiting to be read. She was one of the few who could.

Peyton turned to Brooke, a look of distress on her face.

"What's wrong with him, Brooke?" She asked, her hands shaking slightly. Nervousness overcoming her, as she worried subconsciously about him.

Brooke bit her lower lip, wondering how Peyton was going to take all this news.

"Peyton, he-" But Peyton had already stopped listening, as if she had noticed something. She was slowly inching closer to the couch where Lucas sat, his entire body rigidly stuck in place.

"P. Sawyer, do-" Brooke warned, but it was too late. Peyton ignored the brunette girl, still making her way towards the blonde haired man, hoping she could save him.

He didn't even look at her. As if he couldn't bring himself to do it.

She had to hold back the tears. She had to hold herself together. For him.

"Luke." She finally managed to whisper, and she watched as he tried desperately to fight the temptation to look at her.

But he lost.

Green met blue, and blue met green for the first time in those two years. And it was like falling in love all over again.

"H-hi Peyt'." He stumbled through the seemingly easy sentence.

Peyton smiled weakly, glancing over her shoulder at Brooke. She smiled at Peyton, mouthing a thank you. Peyton took that to mean that no one had been able to get through to Lucas in a while. She was somewhat happy that she still had that power over him. It must have meant something.

"What's wrong, Luke?" She asked, turning back to him, and he simply looked up at her, fear and pain filling his blue eyes.

He shook his head, not a single word spilling from his lips. Peyton felt the warm hand on her shoulder, and turned to find that Brooke had now walked up.

"Let's leave him alone, P. Maybe tomorrow." Brooke asked, silently pleading to the curly haired girl. But Peyton resisted.

"No. I need to talk to him. He needs to tell me." Peyton insisted.

"**I don't need to tell you a damn thing**!"Lucas exploded suddenly, and the girls practically jumped in shock.

"Where have you been the last two years? Peyton?" Lucas growled in anger.

Peyton blinked in complete and utter disbelief. Who was this? Because this wasn't the Lucas she remembered. This wasn't the one who had proposed to her 5 years ago. Although this seemed like a somewhat more intense version of the Lucas who married Lindsey. Was it Lindsey who had turned him into this?

"I married Lindsey and moved away, in hopes of forgetting about you. I didn't want to feel the way I did about you. And I hoped, my goodness, I hoped you would come running after me telling me what a huge mistake I had made. But you stopped caring. They day I married Lindsey, you stopped caring." He said, practically shaking.

"Lucas, don't you **dare** try to blame this on me. Who was the one who married Lindsey in the first place? If you loved me so damn much, then why in the **world** would you marry her?"

"Because she loved me, Peyton. She wanted to be with me. And when I asked you, you said no."

Peyton simply stared at him.

"I **CANNOT** believe you. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. I never said no, and I never would have. Lucas, I've spent the last two years, trying to forget about you. Hoping that maybe someday I could move on, and find someone else. But I realized, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You're the only one there will ever be for me. Peyton and Lucas equals **True Love Always.** But apparently none of that meant anything to you. So I'm going to walk away now. I'm letting you go, once and for all. Because I didn't come here to be yelled at about things that were never even my fault. As much as I tried to blame it all on Lindsey, you were always the one at fault for the pain I've gone through. Brooke asked me to come here to help you, and my hope is that by walking away now, you'll be able to walk away too. From me."

Peyton smiled, though the tears falling from her eyes clearly told him that her heart was shattered like never before. She leaned over, kissing him gently on the cheek.

"Peyt'," He pleaded but she had already turned her back on him.

Brooke followed her out into the front hall again, "Peyton, wait! You can't leave, he'll... he's going to..."

"He'll be better off without me, B." She said simply, "I'll talk to you later."

And without another word, she got into her car and drove off into the night, not daring to look back.

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**reviews are love. **


	3. Driving Me Wild

**A/N: I've been so happy about the response to this story, that I decided to write, and now POST another chapter. for those of you who have read a story of mine before, you're probably pretty shocked, as recently I have been fairly...lacking in updates. But I'm trying real hard with this one to keep up for you guys.**

**Just forewarned, it's another cliffhanger, but pay attention because some of your questions that you guys have been asking do get answered in a somewhat sneaky way. ;)**

**Anyways, enough babbling.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill, but I'll keep dreaming.**

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**Chapter 3:** Driving Me Wild

There was only one word you could use to describe exactly how Peyton felt right now.

Furious. Absolutely furious.

Okay, so that was three. But it was still the truth nonetheless. Peyton was furious with herself for ever coming out. She was furious with Lucas for being so stupid. She was furious with Brooke for not telling her what was wrong with him **before** she had driven out here.

She was furious. And she definitely needed to calm down.

Back on the road now, she drove aimlessly through this somewhat empty town. Even Tree Hill was more lively than this, but she supposed she had to take into account the fact that it was quite early in the morning, and the sun was finally starting to peek above the horizon. But even with that bit of light, Peyton was still lonely as ever. She finally got tired of driving, and pulled over in a parking lot, hoping to just get a few minutes of sleep, and maybe stop her head from pounding from the shock of all the arguing.

**xxx**

"Lucas Eugene Scott!" Brooke practically screamed as she walked up to him, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Lucas shut his eyes, ready to face the anger of Brooke Davis. Anyone who knew her, knew that when she got angry with you, it was scary. Really scary.

"I brought the **love of your life** back to your door, after you haven't seen her in two years. She's the reason Lindsey's gone. She's the reason you've turned into whatever you would like to call the pathetic couch potato you are. Your love for her is what has brought you to this, and if you go on missing her, it's only going to get worse. You haven't moved in **four days**, Luke. And all I'm trying to do is help get you back on your feet."

"I love Lindsey." Lucas managed to whisper.

"That's bull, Luke. You love Lindsey, just like you loved me. You couldn't have Peyton, and Lindsey and I, we were the next best thing for you. Isn't that the truth, Luke? Peyton's the only one you're ever going to truly love. _'It's you. The one I want standing next to me when all my dreams come true, it's you Peyton. It's you'."_ And at the look of surprise on Lucas' face, Brooke laughed," You don't think she didn't tell me. I heard all about it, on more than one occasion. I know you said those exact words to her. So don't feed me that crap about loving Lindsey, because frankly, I'm tired of listening to it. Your dreams came true, your book was published and instead of Peyton, Lindsey was standing next to you. I'm giving you the opportunity to change that, and I'm begging you to take this chance."

Suddenly, it was as if something or someone had possessed him, because after four long days, he got to his feet.

"Brooke, don't pretend you know what I'm going through right now, because you don't. You've never been married-" Lucas began, but Brooke almost immediately cut him off.

"I've also never pretended to love someone for two years, while really my heart belonged to someone else the entire time." Brooke countered, "Now. If you're not going to go after Peyton and find her, then I will because that poor girl shouldn't be alone right now. Some days I wonder what she still sees in you."

"Brooke, w-" Lucas tried again, but Brooke was still one step ahead of him.

"Save it Luke, I'll see you when I get back. But I honestly don't know when that'll be."

And for the second time that night, a beautiful girl walked out on Lucas Scott. And acting as if nothing had ever happened, Lucas collapsed back down onto his couch, and took the same position he had been in for the last four days.

**xxx**

A few minutes of sleep was all that Peyton did get in the end, because within two or three minutes of Peyton parking her car, there was a petite brunette girl standing outside, knocking on her car door window. Peyton's eyes fluttered open quickly at the sound, and she saw her best friend standing there.

"Peyton, thank goodness! Open the door!" Brooke exclaimed.

Peyton rubbed her eyes, making sure she wasn't just imagining all this before opening the car door and letting her best friend in. Brooke immediately wrapped her arms around the blonde girl, hugging her tightly.

"I'm so sorry for asking you to come up here, this is all my fault, I didn't think Lucas would be so stupid about it and I hoped you'd be able to help him out even just a little but then he had to go and be all stupid like that which was just you know, really dumb..." Brooke said, except she was rambling so it sounded more like:

I'msosorryforaskingyoutocomeupherethisisallmyfaultIdidn'tthinkLucaswouldbesostupidaboutitandIhopedyou'dbeabletohelphimoutevenjustalittlebutthenhehadtogoandbeallstupid likethatwhichwasjustyouknowreallydumb.

"Brooke, slow down." Peyton interrupted, "And calm down, too. It's okay. I understand. That doesn't make what happened hurt any less, but still."

Brooke frowned, still hugging her best friend tightly, as if she was never going to let go.

"I can pay for a room in the motel for you if you'd like, so you can get some rest before going home."

"I'm not going anywhere missy, until you tell me what's going on here."

Brooke sighed, supposing she did owe the girl an explanation, after all she had been through.

"Well you see..." She began.

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**Ah, send me a review telling me just how terrible I am for leaving you guys hanging like that. It only makes me feel more...devious :) **

**But no seriously, leave a review. They make my world go around!**


	4. Through My Frozen Heart

**A/N: I know. I'm terrible. It's been over a month since I've updated, and I could give you a list full of excuses, but I'll make it short. We had to give my cat away, and he's been like my best friend for over a year now. Then when I finally pulled myself together and wrote the entire chapter, my computer shut itself off as I finished, and me, being the genius that I am, hadn't saved it while I was writing. So I lost the entire thing. And then everytime after that I tried to write it, it didn't seem right. Basically, insane case of writer's block. **

**I think I've gone on long enough, just know that I'm eternally sorry.**

**Oh, and one last thing. There more than likely won't be any more updates this week due to the fact that I have so much work to do. I can't honestly tell you when the next time I'll update will be. But the ending isn't so cliffhangery.**

**Disclaimer: One Tree Hill. It's not mine.**

**Chapter 4: **Through My Frozen Heart

Lucas had watched as the sun had floated up above the clouds, and it now shone right in his face.

And he hated it. Hated everything about it. The warm, tingly feeling on his face, the brightness in his soul, the happiness it brought. Peyton was the sunshine of his life, and he hated it. He was supposed to love Lindsey. She was his wife. Even if she no longer wanted to be.

Lucas felt his body tense at the thought of Lindsey. She made him feel on edge lately. Ever since she had left...

_"Luke, I'm leaving." She came up to him, arms folded across her chest._

_"Okay, hon. When will you be back?" He asked._

_"Never." She said, sighing._

_"What do you mean, never? Are you... you can't... leaving... me?" None of his words made sense, even to himself._

_"Luke, we both know this isn't what you wanted. It was what I wanted. But give me some credit, I'm not an idiot. I've read your books. And I know that Peyton means everything to you. And I think deep down, you know it too. You've just been trying to hide it." Lindsey frowned, "I'm always going to love you, I think. But I want you to move on. Go find, Peyton. I'll be back later for the rest of my things." _

_"Lindsey, wait! No!" He began, but Lindsey stopped him._

_"Stop lying to yourself, Lucas."_

_"I don't want Peyton, I want you." He pleaded._

_"Open your eyes, Luke."_

And just like that, she was gone. Walked out of his life forever. Brooke had dragged him out of the house when she first got there, after she had also dragged an explanation for Lindsey's absence out of him too. When they got home, every memory of Lindsey was gone. She must have come while they were gone.

Lucas buried his face in his hands.

_"Open your eyes, Luke"_

He had heard that same line what seemed like millions of times. And it was as if now he finally understood what it all really meant. He lifted himself up off the couch, and grabbed the car keys off the coffee table.

But just as he made it to the door, the door swung open, almost hitting him in the face.

"Luke!" Brooke exclaimed, "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry," He muttered quickly before trying to push past Brooke.

"So you finally got some sense knocked into you?" Brooke smirked.

"I'm not going to see Peyton." He said between clenched teeth.

He turned quickly to face Brooke, but seeing the death glare she was sending him, he sighed.

"I have to go see Lindsey." He explained, "I have to fix things."

"You really don't get it, do you Luke?" Brooke shook her head.

"Get what? What is there to get. I love Lindsey!" Lucas insisted.

"But you don't, Luke." Brooke sighed, "And if you don't see that by now, then I don't know what's going to change your mind."

"I love Lindsey, not Peyton. End of story." He said, before running out the door.

He got into his car, and drove away, all the while not realizing he had run by the one he apparently didn't love.

"P." Brooke frowned, coming out and wrapping her arms around her best friend, "I'm so sorry. He'll come around."

Peyton pulled back a little, "Brooke, did you not hear that? Any of it? He just said for the hundredth time that he loves Lindsey now, and he's moved on. My place in his heart is gone, and if I don't deal with it now, I'm never going to be able to refill his spot in my heart."

"I promise you, he loves you. He's just hurting, Peyt'. His wife left him. Give him a few days. In the mean time, stay here with me. Who knows when Luke will be back, and this huge house is pretty empty." Brooke suggested.

Peyton considered this offer for a moment, before finally agreeing.

Little did she know what situation she had just put herself in.

**xxx**

His fingers drumming nervously against the steering wheel as he sat in front of Lindsey's office. He knew what he had to do.

But it was the doing it that had become the hard part. Facing her again, wasn't going to be easy. But he had to do it.

He turned the key in the ignition, stopping the car and undid his seatbelt. But he suddenly froze again.

There she was. What was he going to say? What was he going to do. She looked in the direction of his car, and he knew she had seen him. She began to walk towards him. And he felt like he was going to explode.

She was suddenly tapping on the car window, so he opened the door for her and she slid into the passenger seat.

"What are you doing here, Lucas?" She asked, a frown on her lips.

"I needed to see you, to... talk to you." He practically whispered.

"Well, I'm here now. But really what is there to say?" She asked.

He thought about this for a moment. And it was then he realized she was right. No words were going to make this okay. And so he turned to her, and looked straight into her eyes.

Before either knew what they were doing, his lips were locked with hers. She ran her hand through his hair.

"Lu-uke." She mumbled, pushing him back gently.

He pulled away reluctantly and she simply shook her head.

"We can't do this." Lindsey said simply, "Because we both know how this story is going to end."

And this time, Lucas really did know.

**leave a review. :)**


	5. How Desperate I've Become

**A/N: I promised myself I wouldn't keep you waiting as long as I had last time. I got sick this week, so I had a lot more time than I thought I would to finish the work I needed to, which gave me time to write this. I only finished it just now, but most of it was written this week. :)**

**I did lose a few readers, which I was expecting, but if you're still reading, thank you! :) And keep reviewing! Your support means the world to me.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or the song Missing You by Tyler Hilton which is where the chapter titles all come from! :)**

**Chapter 5: **How Desperate I've Become

Peyton Sawyer was not one to just break down and cry. She had always been the girl who wouldn't let her feelings show, and you could tell it. You knew she was hiding something; you were just never sure what. But after she met Lucas Scott, everything changed. Those walls she had building up ever since her mother died, collapsed like they were nothing at all when he was around. He was the only person she had ever let all the way in, he was the only one who could always seem to tell what was on her mind. Or at least he had been able to at one point.

Not even her best friend Brooke could tell most of the time. Like now, as Brooke sat watching her curly haired friend sitting on the couch, that until a few hours ago, Lucas had been inhabiting for the last few days. It seemed to bring her comfort, but you would never have known by the blank stare on her face. It was more the way she was clinging to the couch, just like it held all her answers. As if she could still feel his presence there. She was trying to hold on to whatever bit of Lucas still had feelings for her, because it felt as if during these past few years, he had almost completely slipped between her fingers.

"Peyton..." Brooke began, but she didn't finish the sentence. She honestly didn't know what to say. And Peyton made no sign of hearing anything, so Brooke abandoned the idea of talking altogether.

Peyton's green eyed stare was focused across the room, towards the door, and away from Brooke. She didn't move at all, as if she was made of porcelain. And these days, it really seemed like it. It was as if everything little thing that happened around her made her crack just a little bit more, and it wouldn't be long until she fell apart, broken into little pieces. Brooke was angry with Lucas, because he seemed so oblivious to all that he was doing to Peyton, the way he was hurting her like this.

Speak of the devil, at that moment Lucas walked right through the front door.

Brooke immediately turned to watch Peyton, and sighed when she saw those round, green eyes light up at the sight of him, even if only for a second. Brooke lifted herself up out of the chair, and walked towards Lucas.

"I have only one thing to say to you, Lucas," She growled, low enough so that Peyton couldn't hear, "If all you're gonna do is break her heart, then walk away now, before I break your face."

But Lucas didn't seem to be paying attention. He walked past Brooke and took a seat next to Peyton on the couch.

"Peyton?" He whispered.

She nodded slowly, looking him in the eyes.

"I love you." He said simply.

She stared at him for a moment, a blank expression on her face. And then without a word, she lifted her hand and smacked him clean across the face before getting up and walking away.

Lucas sat there in shock, reaching up to touch his burning face. He could feel the fingerprints beginning to form, that's how hard she had slapped him.

"You get what you deserve," Brooke whispered, leaning over his shoulder from behind him.

He turned around, glaring at her, but she simply shrugged, a mischevious smile creeping onto her face.

"Later Scott." She giggled, before running upstairs after her friend.

**xxx**

"You did the right thing, P." Brooke smiled.

"Then why do I feel so terrible?" Peyton choked out through her tears.

Brooke sat down next to her on the bed, rubbing her back gently, trying to calm her down.

But Peyton just kept crying. Brooke knew she was hurting, hurting real bad. And it was Lucas who had caused this, all of this. Because he had thrown himself so far into denial by being with Lindsey, and now without even an apology, he turns around and tells Peyton he loves her.

"Things like this, they don't get fixed overnight," Brooke whispered softly, "You two are meant to be, and you have both always known that. We all have. But after all that's happened, you can't just go back to the way things were. You have to take the time to heal, Peyton. Because you're pretty broken right now, and so is he. Stay here, and we'll work things out, okay?"

Peyton was silent, but she seemed to have stopped crying so hard.

"I love him, Brooke. So much that it hurts. There's this ache in my chest whenever I think about him, because of the hole he left in my heart. It's never been like this for me before. I can't stand to be without him, but you're right. I don't think I could handle being with him either right now."

"I'm here for you, P."

"Thank you, Brooke. For everything."

"That's what friends are for." Brooke smiled.

**xxx**

Lucas had shut the curtains, not wanting to look at the sun any longer.

It hadn't taken him long to realize how stupid he had been, and how he had only hurt Peyton more than she already was. He couldn't help but blame himself for everything now, no matter how many times he had convinced himself it was Peyton's fault for saying no, and that Peyton didn't want him anymore, that he would be happier with Lindsey. But he knew that Peyton had never been the one to blame for any of this.

It had always been him, and his own stupidity that had caused all of this. And it was him, and his stupidity that were going to continue to cause problems unless he changed, and quick. He had to fix things between them before it was too late, and he lost her, quite possibly forever this time.

But he was determined not to let that happen. This wasn't over yet.

**Because of my being sick, I have some work to catch up on, so it may be awhile before the next update, but in the meantime, REVIEW! And we'll see what happens. ;D**


	6. What I Might Say

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A/N: I did it again. :) I went weeks without updating. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm always and forever sorry. But I updated soon-ER which is a miracle in itself, so be happy. I wanna finish up some oneshots and post 'em. So once again, this one shall be slightly neglected. However, I do promise it'll be done. Gimme another few weeks to update, and in the mean time, this should tide you over.

Oh, and more big events happening soon. Promise.

Disclaimer: Once again, only in my dreams do I own Hilarie or Chad or Sophia. Nor do I own their characters. Heck, I don't even own the show they're on. But I do however own the storyline from the beginning of this story onwards. :)

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Chapter 6: 

What I Might Say

Peyton awoke the next morning silently. She and Brooke had shared the bed in the guest bedroom. Because as Brooke had reported back to Peyton, Lucas had offered his bed, saying he would sleep on the couch, but Brooke had persistently refused that. No matter how much bigger that bed was, she couldn't put Peyton through the pain right now of having to sleep in Lucas' bed, much less having to sleep alone.

Peyton tied her now permanently messy blonde hair back up into a ponytail, before quietly making her way into the kitchen. No one else was up yet. Brooke was known for her being up late, partying all night, and sleeping in until the next afternoon. And Lucas, well Peyton wasn't very sure about what was going on with him. She was finding it harder and harder to care about him. Goodness, she still had so many feelings for him. But he had hurt her so bad.

She took a pan out from the cupboard, and began to make some breakfast. Scrambled eggs, bacon. Nothing too extravagant. She was just hungry enough that toast or cereal wasn't going to do it. She liked it when it was quiet; it gave her a chance to think. But the quiet in this house seemed to haunt her, knowing that this was Lindsey's home. Not hers. She wasn't the one married to Lucas. All of this was Lindsey's.

She could already feel the tears start running down her face. She was honestly surprised there were any tears left there, considering all the crying she had done. Looking towards the ceiling, trying to stop the tears, she sighed.

"Peyton..."

Her head snapped back down within seconds. All of a sudden her emotions completely changed.

There he was. Standing right there. So many things to say, but so many things that simply shouldn't be said. Did she care? Did she really care?

"Peyton, I'm... I'm sorry for everything." He pleaded.

"Are you **really**? Are you really sorry? Or is all of this just a game to you? Am I just a game to you? Because if that's all I am to you, tell me now so I can get out of this. I don't think it's possible to hate someone as much as I hate you right now, considering how much I love you right now. Here, you can have my breakfast, Luke."

And with that said, she threw the fork she had been using into the sink, and stormed from the kitchen, no longer able to breathe in there.

**xxx**

Brooke's eyes shot open.

_"... I don't think it's possible to hate someone as much as I hate you right now, considering how much I love you right now..."_

Peyton's cries could be heard even on the second floor of the household. And it wasn't long before the sound of something being dropped into the sink, and the slamming of the front door were heard.

Standing up, and throwing a sweater on, Brooke stomped all the way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where she found a broody blonde haired man standing, staring at a pan full of scrambled eggs.

"Damn it, Luke. Can you not do **anything** right?" She sighed, walking over to the pan, and picking it up, spooning the eggs into a bowl and handing it to him.

"Did you hear it? All of it?" He asked quietly, as he sat down at the table.

"Enough to know what went on." Brooke glared at him, "Luke, you can't keep doing this. She's staying here, because she needs me. And unfortunately for us, you need me too. I can't keep playing both sides of the fence. And if you two weren't so damn stubborn, I wouldn't have to be sitting on this fence, 'cause we'd all be on the same side!"

Lucas frowned.

"She's not gonna forgive you right now, because you hurt her. And not just paper cut hurt. Like, tore her heart right out of her chest, ripped into shreds, stepped on it and watch the juice run all over the floor and then served it to the d-"

"Okay, Brooke! I get the point." He interrupted.

"No, see I don't think you do. Because if you did, we wouldn't have had this conversation, what, 3 times now? This **has to stop.**" Brooke said menacingly through clenched teeth, "And if you can't figure out a way to do that, and soon, then you and Peyton? You're done. I'll take her home, and make sure you NEVER see her again. She can't take anymore hurt, Luke."

She smiled hopefully, leaving Luke to sit at the table, contemplating all that had just been said.

**xxx**

Peyton wandered aimlessly around town. Birds chirped, the sun shone. It seemed like a good day. But Peyton knew better. No days were good these days. Not after what Lucas had done.

She stopped sighing. She had spent a lot of time blaming this on Lucas. But she knew it was partly her fault. That she had hurt him too. Because she had hurt Lindsey. She had said a lot of hateful things that she was far from proud of. And she had essentially driven Lucas and Lindsey apart. But was it her fault she was hopelessly and desperately in love with Lucas? And was it her fault that he still felt the same? Or had she simply imagined that kiss the night he proposed to Lindsey.

Because to her, that had been the most real moment in the last five years. Everything else just seemed to be a blur.

She needed him. Just like she needed oxygen. And goodness, was that hard sometimes. You can't live without oxygen, but Peyton had spent the last five years without Lucas and somehow she had made it through.

The thing was, she still didn't know how.

**reviews make my world go round.**

**p.s., thanks for all your wonderful reviews to date. you all are amazing. **


	7. Losing This Fight

**A/N: Long time, no update. And I'm sorry. But I'm always sorry. So much to do, so little time. Basically, this was the first chance in forever I got, to sit down and write this next chapter. I'm sorry to say this story will probably be coming to an end... well, as soon as possible. Because I'm having insane writer's block with it, so I need to finish it so I won't feel so bad about not updating. **

**But here's the next chapter. **

**Review, like it or otherwise.**

**Disclaimer: One Tree Hill belongs to Mark Schwann. And my name just... isn't Mark Schwann.**

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**Chapter 7:** Losing This Fight

"Hello?"

"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer! Where the heck are you?"

"Haley." Peyton breathed into the phone, "Hi."

"Still waiting on an answer, blondie." Haley laughed.

"I'm with Brooke... and Luke. Well kind of."

"Peyton, are you sure that's a good idea right now, being up there?"

"It's never gonna be a good idea, Hales. I'm never going to be okay with this. But Lindsey left Luke, and he was a mess and..."

"You found out about that?" Haley sighed.

"You knew about that?" Peyton asked.

There was an awkward moment of silence before Haley replied, "Yeah, I did. But finding the words to tell you was too hard. It's only been a few days. Brooke called me, and asked me to come up, but I told her I couldn't leave Nathan alone with Jamie right now. She must have called you afterwards."

"Yeah, I tried to say no. But the thing was, I wanted to come. In some strange way, I needed this. Now if only I knew what this was." Peyton's voice cracked.

"You know how he is with his heart, Peyton."

"No Haley, apparently I don't. Because he sure gave it away to Lindsey pretty fast. When he asked me to marry him, I said someday, not no. And I never would have said no." Peyton sobbed.

"Peyton, I think he talked himself into loving Lindsey. Because he missed you and needed to fill that void."

"If he missed me so much, he would have waited. He wouldn't have left me."

"Peyton, where exactly are you?" Haley asked.

"On a highway in the middle of nowhere trying to run away from all this." Peyton admitted.

"Stay there. I'll be there in a while."

**xxx**

"I blame you." Brooke glared at him.

They sat on opposite sides of the living room, having an unofficial staring contest.

"For what?" Lucas asked.

Brooke finally blinked, before standing up.

"She left, Luke. Haley just called me. She was on her way home when Haley called her, wondering where she had disappeared to in the first place. Then the poor girl broke down and started crying and it's ALL YOUR FAULT."

"Why the hell is everything **my fault?!**" He practically screamed, "You know, she blames me for not waiting. But what about her? There was a whole year between when I proposed to her and when I invited her to my book signing. A WHOLE YEAR. But no, nothing. She kept pushing me away, and she ended up pushing me right into Lindsey. Is that my fault?"

"You walked away when she said she wouldn't marry you right away. You were the one who broke up with her, and came running home just because she wasn't ready. You need to admit that it's partly, if not completely your fault before either of you can figure out where to go from here. But first, you have to get over Lindsey."

"I kissed Lindsey."

"What? When?" Brooke's jaw dropped.

"Right before I came home yesterday and told Peyton I loved her. I don't know what I was thinking. I went there, looking for closure. And the next thing I knew, I was kissing her. But she pushed me away, and I realized that I had been blind to it all along."

"Blind to what?"

"To everything. To Peyton. To the way I feel." Lucas bit his lip, frowning, "It's always been her. But I was too afraid to admit it."

No one said anything for a moment. Brooke could tell Lucas was finally opening his heart back up, and everything he had bottled up from all these past years was finally coming out.

Finally, Brooke walked over to Lucas and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

Lucas sighed, and it wasn't long before Brooke realized he was crying.

"After I proposed to her that night in L.A... I was so broken, and confused. I had just assumed she would say yes, and everything would go back to like it was at the end of high school. So when it didn't, I didn't know which way to turn. I was lost without her, and I was afraid I had just lost everything. So I threw myself into my work, my book. And ended up throwing myself to Lindsey as well. I blamed Peyton for my mistakes, because it was so much easier hating her, than still having all those feelings. After that book signing, I talked myself into forgetting about her. And then when I saw her again for the first time two years ago, I had been hiding my heart for so long that I couldn't feel it anymore. I was numb."

"But everything's going to be okay now." Brooke smiled, pulling away from him, "You're going to tell Peyton everything you just told me, and everything will be okay."

Lucas looked down at Brooke, the frown still etched into his face.

"I can't. I'm not... I'm not ready."

**xxx**

It wasn't long before Haley pulled up behind Peyton on the side of the long highway.

She got out of her car, and hopped into the passenger seat of Peyton's.

"Hey."

"Hi." Peyton whispered, her eyes red from all the crying.

"What do you need right now?" Haley asked.

Peyton didn't answer right away. It was as if she knew what she wanted to say, but she wasn't sure that she could.

"Lucas. I need to talk to Lucas." Peyton finally admitted.

Haley nodded, "You're stronger than I could ever dream of being."

Peyton shook her head, "It's just what I have to do."

Haley smiled, "Things are going to work out eventually. They have to.

"I sure hope so." Peyton replied, sighing.

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**So, reviews are nice?**

**And thoughts on the finale? :(**


	8. Catch My Breath

**A/N: So this is it, the end is finally here. I needed to finish it, so I could just... write something else. I have so many other oneshots and stuff that haven't been finished that I want to concentrate on now.**

**But there will be a new story eventually. In the meantime, here's the final chapter.**

**Disclaimer: One Tree Hill is owned by Mark Schwann, and my name isn't Mark Schwann. For those of you who can't put 2 and 2 together to come up with 4, I don't own One Tree Hill. Oh and the lyrics used at the end are "Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. (Great song, by the way. Check it out)**

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****Chapter 8: **Catch My Breath

"Are you ready for this?" Haley asked.

Peyton nodded slowly, although she was completely unsure of herself.

Haley reached out for Peyton's hand, taking it before ringing the doorbell.

The door swung open almost immediately, and there was Brooke

"Lucas Euge- oh, hi! Sorry, uhm. Come in!" Brooke stuttered.

"What's going on, Brooke?" Haley asked.

"Yeah, where's Lucas?" Peyton continued.

"He left," Brooke sighed. "And I don't know where to. He just kind of.. took off."

Peyton buried her face in her hands. This just had to happen now, didn't it?

"We'll wait for him then." Peyton decided, "Have you called his cell?"

"No, I didn't think of that, he only just left a few minutes ago. I'll go do that n-" Brooke began, but Peyton stopped her.

"No, you stay here with Haley. I'll do it. I have to do it." Peyton said seriously.

Brooke just nodded, as the blonde girl walked into the kitchen.

**xxx**

"He finally came back to us, Haley. Like his heart. He seemed to be finally opening up." Brooke smiled.

"That's such good news. I've missed him, the real him."

Brooke nodded, "It's too bad he couldn't just tell Peyton what he told me. That's why he left. He knew you would bring her back here, and he just couldn't face her."

"I've never known Luke to run away from his problems, but that's exactly who he's become." Haley frowned, "I just hope they can fix this before it's too late. They're good for each other, or at least they were."

"They're obviously not okay without each other, but they're too stubborn to admit they need each other."

"That's Lucas and Peyton for you," Haley grinned.

**xxx**

Peyton stood there, with the phone in her hand, her fingers pausing above the buttons.

Could she really do this? Was she ready to solve this?

She had no answers, but she knew this was what she had to do whether she could or not.

_When I see your smile,  
Tears run down on my face.  
I can't replace._

"Hello?"

"Lucas."

"Peyton." He breathed.

"Can we talk?" She asked slowly, more nervous as she said each word.

"I want to Peyton, I really do but I'm not..."

"Then don't talk, just listen."

_And now that I'm stronger,  
I have figured out,  
How this world turns cold and it  
Breaks through my soul._

"You hurt me. Really bad, Luke. I said someday, not no. Never no. Not in a million years would my answer have been no. Because there's not a day that goes by where I wouldn't marry you. But at that point in my life, I wasn't ready to get married. I was nineteen, and trying to figure out who I was still. So when you left, it ruined what little self esteem I had left. And it only got worse, when I found out you were with Lindsey. Because when I came back to Tree Hill, I came back for you. No matter how hard I tried to move on, it was always you I needed, always you I wanted. When you married Lindsey, I tried again to move on. But everything I do, it always leads me back to you. So I'm not running away anymore Luke. I'm standing here right now, telling you that I need you. And all you have to do is need me back."

"Come to the back door." He whispered.

And so she did, and there he was standing in the backyard in a suit.

_And I know I'll find deep inside me,  
I can be the one._

Peyton raised one eyebrow, before walking outside slowly, hanging up the phone as she went. She walked until she was standing right in front of him, looking into those deep blue eyes that she had missed so much.

"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. I have made so many mistakes in my life. More than some people could ever dream of making. I'm far from being perfect, but somehow you still see the perfection inside me. And that's more than I could ever ask for. No matter how many times I've messed up, and broken your heart, you've always found your way back to me. And there aren't enough words in the world to thank you for that. You are my world, my life, my everything. And even if it's taken me this long to admit it, I could never love anyone else as much as I love you. So I guess that just leaves one thing." He paused, getting down on one knee, "Peyton, will you marry me?"

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever._

There was a moment of pure silence where their eyes locked and Peyton's began to tear.

"Of course." Peyton smiled, the tears finally falling from her eyes.

Lucas grinned, slipping the ring onto her finger before standing back up and kissing her for the first time in years.

And boy, did it feel good.

_I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

**the end. **

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